IVaafay

There's a category of loss in every league that nobody gets mad about: you played the 5-0 team, you scored a normal number, you lost. Naafay scored 106.8, HNFNR scored 122.48, and that's the whole story. George Pickens caught 23.5, Davante Adams 19.6, Bijan 13.8, Javonte 13.2, Kyle Pitts 12.7 (the Pitts resurrection continues, and I'll believe it when it survives November). The Bears defense scored −2.0 in Green Bay, which is less a fantasy result than a weather event.

The quarterback situation is resolving the way these things resolve in Kingwood, which is by elimination. Deshaun Watson scored 12.2 and is the starter until Caleb Williams, who the Bears keep describing as "close," is actually close. Michael Penix Jr., dropped last Monday, immediately got a rib injury, which is either Naafay reading the tea leaves or the Asim Juju being contagious. Joe Mixon was added Monday and dropped Wednesday. Brenton Strange arrived Thursday. Naafay has made 11 roster moves, which in this league is only sixth. (Bazaan has 26. We'll get to Bazaan.)

Seventh, down one, at 28-27 against the field — the exact middle of the league, dead on the scoring average, the most average team in Kingwood by every measure we have. Next is Haroon, who scored 139 and lost, with Chase and Jones on bye. If there's ever a week to catch the unluckiest team in the league, it's the one where he's missing two starters and looking for someone to sell Goff to.

Naafay scored 128.72, second-best in the league this week, beat Bilal, and is 2-2 after an 0-2 start. Deshaun Watson — a waiver pickup two weeks ago, started over Penix — threw for 268 yards and 12.92 points. Javonte Williams ran for three touchdowns and 28.8, Bijan Robinson added 27.2, Jake Bates kicked for 18.0, and the Bears defense added 9.0. Alvin Kamara's 20.3 sat on the bench. Monday night, with the win banked, Naafay dropped Michael Penix Jr. and picked up Joe Mixon. The quarterback the chat laughed at is now the only one on the roster until Caleb Williams returns, which is still one to two weeks away.

The week's other Naafay position: he is the league's only principled abstainer. "Sadly I must uphold everything since I been against the veto system since day 1." He also tried to pry Denzel Boston from Arfan straight up for Jordan Addison, and spent Thursday night as the chat's moderator ("Whose left") while the Allen vote came down to the final ballot.

Up two to No. 6. IVaafay is 23-21 against the field and dead on the league scoring average, which under the new formula is the middle of the board, exactly where it sits. The ceiling moves up to No. 7. Next is HNFNR, undefeated, which is the sort of thing Naafay's team has stopped being afraid of.

Bijan Robinson ran for 194 yards and two touchdowns, scored 34.3, and IVaafay beat RN 110.24 to 98.74 for its first win of the season: 9-2 against the field, third-best score of the week. Mustafa had announced his rooting interest on Wednesday: "I just want naafay to lose this week." Javonte Williams added 17.3 and Davante Adams 17.2.

The quarterback story is a group project. Naafay missed on both waiver targets ("Wowww I didn't get any of the 2 qbs i wanted from waivers lol. Young or goff"). Yaseen dropped a hint without naming anyone, and Naafay solved it: "Penix? 🤣 … I told yall. I know football lol." Michael Penix Jr. scored 14.04 in the start. Then Naafay also picked up Deshaun Watson ("In Watson I trust"), who scored 20.26 on the bench, more than Penix.

That quarterback carousel is going to run for a while. Caleb Williams has a Grade 2 hamstring strain and is expected to miss three to four weeks, longer than Naafay's hope of "the week after next or maybe even next." IVaafay jumps from 12th to 8th. Next is Team MBK, whose owner has been trying to sell Naafay a quarterback all month and will now try to beat him instead.

Naafay spent Monday evening doing live math in the group chat — "12.5 points per quarter. In process lol" — and Davante Adams very nearly obliged, hanging 35.5 on Monday night. It was the third-best line of the week, and it was surrounded by nothing: the other eight starters produced 48.32 combined. Kyle Pitts followed his Week 1 zero with 2.0. Bijan Robinson, the whole thesis of this roster, managed 9.6 in a game Atlanta lost by 31.

Then there's the quarterback. Caleb Williams was carted off with a hamstring injury — "That looked badd," Naafay reported, correctly — and is week-to-week, though the tests came back clean enough that Week 3 isn't ruled out. In the meantime the waiver hunt is on ("Waiver wire 👀🤣") and Bilal has already arrived with the Stafford brochure.

0-11 against the field, 0-2 overall, last on the board for the first time. "My team cooked aF lmao," the owner wrote, and the desk, having reviewed all available evidence, concurs with the finding and the lmao both.

For two straight summers the scouting report on Naafay's quarterback position ended in a shrug. In Week 1, Caleb Williams led every quarterback in the NFL with 37.26 points — two passing touchdowns, two rushing, a 59-point offense around him — and the shrug is formally retired. The national analysts are treating the breakout as structural, not matchup noise, and for once the desk agrees with the consensus.

The problem was everything around the siren. Kyle Pitts: 0.0. The Chargers defense: 0.0. Davante and Pickens: 8.4 combined. The final 108.46 was a perfectly respectable total that happened to stand in front of Bazaan's 135. The preseason thesis — the bench might be better than the lineup — went one-for-one in its first test, with Jordan Mason's 11.9 leading the reserves while three starters posted almost nothing.

Eleventh on the board, same as August, with the same footnote as August: this is the eleventh that one good waiver week makes look silly. The difference is that the quarterback has left the list of problems and become the entire case for optimism. It's a real case now.

The strange thing about Naafay's roster is that the bench might be better than the starting lineup. Bijan at 1.02 anchors everything. Pickens and Davante Adams start at receiver, while DK Metcalf, Jordan Addison, and Khalil Shakir sit behind them, all bought at real discounts. The back half of this draft was tidy on the ESPN board: Shakir 11 past price, Nailor 20 past in the final round, Addison at his number.

The front half is where the chaos lives. Javonte Williams and Jadarian Price, the latter 26 picks ahead of market, hold the RB2 job between them. Kamara at 122 against a price of 160 is a bet against the market's obituary. Caleb Williams is the quarterback and Kyle Pitts is the tight end, two sentences that have ended in shrugs for multiple consecutive preseasons.

Eleventh on the board — and Naafay went 10-4 last season and still finished eighth once the bracket had its say, so he knows better than anyone that these numbers are an opening argument. This is the classic eleventh that is one good October waiver week from looking silly. The depth is real. The starting lineup just hasn't been introduced to it yet.

Naafay's main draft-week contribution to league discourse was proposing next year's draft happen in a cabin in Montenegro, which is also a fair description of this roster: a great idea, location still uncertain.